Fantasy Squared

Dancing With The Stars is the second most popular television show in the U.S., only surpassed by American Idol. I've never seen DWTS. Don't actually know anyone who watches it. I am going to watch it this fall, going to make a game out of it, and in all likelihood I will, after two weeks watching it, consider myself an old hat dance judge.

I mean, two seasons ago, Emmit Smith, of Dallas Cowboys running back glory, won the whole shebang. I'm not saying he can't move like hell, but really, Ballroom? Cha Cha Cha? The Foxtrot?

I think I can tell the difference between a retired jock with more bum joints than the Humboldt homeless and a trained dancer.

This season, however, I'm in deep yogurt. While I try to focus on scoring Fantasy points via the dancing stars and their pro partners, I will be mentally shackled by the presence of one of my generation's most dominant teen boy heart-throbs, Brook Burke.

Yes this will be Fantasy Dance vs. Fantasy Wild On!

HOT HOT HOT

If you don't remember Wild On! it's probably because you were not a teen and twenty something lad when I was. Wild On! was this Entertainment channel (E!) show where Brooke would travel around the world visiting exotic places and somehow finding herself in a bikini wherever she went, whether it was at the top of that crazy hotel in Dubai, running with the bulls in Pamplona, having a tomato fight in Bunol, and many other adventures which are forever scorched into my minds eye.

Don't recognize her?

How about like this:
Yeah, that's her.

What's crazy about B double is that she has had 4 children and still looks like this. Of course, her first husband was a plastic surgeon, so you know. Her 38th birthday is coming up this Monday, which is exactly two weeks before the kick off of DWTS, so I'm thinking she will be properly hyped for a good long run at the championship.

At least, that's what I'm hoping, cause man, it's going to be really hard to root against her. Will she be fast on her feet? Maybe. Coordinated enough to hang with a pro? Possibly. Strong enough to deal with the grueling practice schedule? Who cares......I will be watching with my "heart," not with my brain.....typically a VERY bad idea if you want to do well at Fantasy.

But then, some Fantasies trump others.