Sundays we will race around the world with our favorite pairs of inventive budget travelers. It's a little bit of torture watching them go places I really want to go and not stopping for a second to enjoy the view, sample the wine, or sun in the sand.(Side note: these two on the left are dead money.....I'm just saying....not only are they silver hairs, they are clearly not the competitive types. Smart money has them preferring the "path" to the "goal." But hey, there will be points awarded for drama and smack talking too, so maybe they'll be good scorers even if they aren't good racers.)
Mondays we will shake it with some favorite celebrities as they learn new dance routines, partnered with professional dancers, and the more they fall, the more they are judged, the more they cry, bitch and moan about how hard it is, the more I will score. (Side note: Penn Jillette? can he dance?)
Tuesday we will cheer the biggest of the bigs as they sweat it out, trying to shed pounds and ounces, literally and figuratively staying alive, and the more they shed, the more they cry, the more they curse their trainer, the more I score. (Side note: this show must have been created with Fantasy in mind....I mean there are stats just waiting to be had.....how many pounds lost, what percentage.....secret twinkies eaten caught on camera.......In the immortal words of Eddie Murphy, "I'll just have a salad.")
Thursday we will watch as a bunch of you's and me's attempt to survive in the wilds of western Africa, eating what they can, sleeping where they will, and weaving webs of illusion and deceit for our pleasure and points. (Side note: I must admit, my personal Survivor dream is to see Jeff Probst attempting to do the things and live the ways he challenges his adoring castaways to do. He looks all tough with that shark's tooth necklace, but I'm betting that's a salon tan, an airbrushed physique, and if truth be told, he couldn't survive a night in the wild, without his troupe of interns and local handlers.)1,000 Fantasy points to the first castaway that tears off Probst's hairpiece.
The only better thing than watching these shows alone with a bacon cheeseburger and half liter of Ben and Jerry's is also having a team of Fantasy racers, stars, chubies, and castaways to be your very own.
Fantasy ON!
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1 comment:
the better question would be: is penn jillette a star? i think that show would be more aptly titled, "dancing with moderately famous people -- the ones not quite famous enough to turn down this gig."
don't let the silver hairs fool you. i'm guessing the only path they're interested in is the one that gives them the most direct shot to the goal. the matching tie-dyes are proof positive of calculating natures.
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