Is it the German accent? More likely it's the fierce semi-glazed-over supermodel stare that says simultaneously "take off your pants" and "give me that cheeseburger or I'll kill you!"
MEOWCH!This week's Project Runway auf Wiedersehen moment came as quite a shocker to yours truly. The designer sent packing was one who I had in my Fantasy Seam Team every week, thinking she was bound to come up with another winning design like she did in Week 1.
Alas, no. Instead, she sent a slutty leopard print bikini shirt top down the runway when she was supposed to be designing something Brooke Shields could wear both in the board room and out to dinner. "Slutty, slutty, slutty!" slandered Michael Kors, one of the Project Runway judges. While slutty might make you popular in high school, it's not going to win you any design competitions.
Add "manipulative" to slutty, however, and you could be the perfect kind of player to win in the upcoming season of Survivor. It never fails to amaze me that certain of the castaways on that show think that they are forming real and lasting relationships. It's a game, some play to win, others want to be liked. Being liked doesn't get you $1million. A strong combination of slutty and manipulative seems to be what gets you that thousand$squared.
Case in point, last season's winner, Parvati Shallow (below). Her bio reads thus:
"Parvati Shallow grew up the eldest of three siblings on a commune in Vero Beach, Florida. She and her family moved to Atlanta when she was 11 years old. Shallow put herself through college, attending the University of Georgia where she received her Bachelor of Arts degree in journalism with minors in French and Italian. While in college, she was an active member of the Alpha Omicron Pi sorority and is a huge Bulldog fan!"
Well if that doesn't prove my point right there! If I must elucidate further, we know she is smart because she put herself through college. Not only that, but she was raised in a commune. If there's one thing I know about being raised in a commune (trust me), it's that you learn to be around and deal with a lot of different and sometimes CRAZY people. If you can navigate that atmosphere with grace and escape to excel in a world of normalcy, you probably learned at least a few skills of group manipulation.
She was a born Survivor contestant........sorority slutty, with a brain, hippie manipulator extraordinaire, and if I might be so bold, not terrible to look at. Top it off with her skills in the romance languages French and Italian. Nobody stood a chance!
I'm not sure how the "huge Bulldog fan!" thing played into her road to Sole Survivor glory, but my guess is the sporty-spice attitude wouldn't hurt when you have to keep your eyes on the prize and not get intimidated by other back-stabbing maggot eating no teeth brushing beach hobos.
Speaking of maggot eating beach hobos, in the interest of full disclosure I must admit that not five hours after I claimed that my fantasy baseball team was turning things around and possibly sailing to a smashing last month and a half of the season victory party, my star closer decided to try pitching with his head up his ass. He got one out on this occasion also, but then proceeded to give up 3 runs and get ejected for arguing with the home plate umpire. 3 runs, one out. That's an Earned Run Average of 81. Not good.
Good thing I'm not a superstitious person, or I'd think I had jinxed my own team. No. That's not how it works. Trying to pitch at the major league level with your nose smashed where the sun don't shine, that might jinx things a bit, but talk is cheap and blog talk cheaper. So pick your head up, KRod, and smell the sunshine. Throw strikes. Preferably strikes that miss bats.
If only I could slutty manipulate him into another 15 or 20 more saves this year.That would be my Fantasy becoming Reality for the sake of my Fantasy.
Alas, no. Instead, she sent a slutty leopard print bikini shirt top down the runway when she was supposed to be designing something Brooke Shields could wear both in the board room and out to dinner. "Slutty, slutty, slutty!" slandered Michael Kors, one of the Project Runway judges. While slutty might make you popular in high school, it's not going to win you any design competitions.
Add "manipulative" to slutty, however, and you could be the perfect kind of player to win in the upcoming season of Survivor. It never fails to amaze me that certain of the castaways on that show think that they are forming real and lasting relationships. It's a game, some play to win, others want to be liked. Being liked doesn't get you $1million. A strong combination of slutty and manipulative seems to be what gets you that thousand$squared.
Case in point, last season's winner, Parvati Shallow (below). Her bio reads thus:
"Parvati Shallow grew up the eldest of three siblings on a commune in Vero Beach, Florida. She and her family moved to Atlanta when she was 11 years old. Shallow put herself through college, attending the University of Georgia where she received her Bachelor of Arts degree in journalism with minors in French and Italian. While in college, she was an active member of the Alpha Omicron Pi sorority and is a huge Bulldog fan!"Well if that doesn't prove my point right there! If I must elucidate further, we know she is smart because she put herself through college. Not only that, but she was raised in a commune. If there's one thing I know about being raised in a commune (trust me), it's that you learn to be around and deal with a lot of different and sometimes CRAZY people. If you can navigate that atmosphere with grace and escape to excel in a world of normalcy, you probably learned at least a few skills of group manipulation.
She was a born Survivor contestant........sorority slutty, with a brain, hippie manipulator extraordinaire, and if I might be so bold, not terrible to look at. Top it off with her skills in the romance languages French and Italian. Nobody stood a chance!
I'm not sure how the "huge Bulldog fan!" thing played into her road to Sole Survivor glory, but my guess is the sporty-spice attitude wouldn't hurt when you have to keep your eyes on the prize and not get intimidated by other back-stabbing maggot eating no teeth brushing beach hobos.
Speaking of maggot eating beach hobos, in the interest of full disclosure I must admit that not five hours after I claimed that my fantasy baseball team was turning things around and possibly sailing to a smashing last month and a half of the season victory party, my star closer decided to try pitching with his head up his ass. He got one out on this occasion also, but then proceeded to give up 3 runs and get ejected for arguing with the home plate umpire. 3 runs, one out. That's an Earned Run Average of 81. Not good.
Good thing I'm not a superstitious person, or I'd think I had jinxed my own team. No. That's not how it works. Trying to pitch at the major league level with your nose smashed where the sun don't shine, that might jinx things a bit, but talk is cheap and blog talk cheaper. So pick your head up, KRod, and smell the sunshine. Throw strikes. Preferably strikes that miss bats.
If only I could slutty manipulate him into another 15 or 20 more saves this year.That would be my Fantasy becoming Reality for the sake of my Fantasy.
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